How To Lose Customers and Not Influence Anyone [10.07.09]

Closed on Sunday...We are currently at lunch - please call us back after 1:30pm...We're just getting set up with email...Our credit card machine is broken...We only take Visa and MasterCard.

Do any of these statements sound familiar?  They should.  Why?  Because they are the hallmark of bad business and there is a lot of it to go around.  Even in the "worst recession since the Great Depression," it amazes me that many companies are still content to do business as usual.  Trying times demand even greater service levels and attention to detail.  So let's take each statement in turn and dissect its true meaning and implication:

"Closed on Sunday."

I am an avid cyclist.  Like 99.99% of other cyclists, Saturdays and Sundays are my biggest riding days.  They are also the days I often need a shop's help if I have a problem or want to look around for a new bike.  I know many bike shop owners love to ride and the weekends are prime time to do it.  Yet, if you're in business you need to decide why you are in it.  Are you in it to: a.) have fun  b.) satisfy customers  or c.)make money? If the answer is "a," go have fun.  I  am not going to be your customer though.

"We are currently at lunch.  Please call us back after 1:30pm."

This expression is a favorite among physicians - especially those who have not redecorated their offices and replenished their magazine stocks since the early 1970s.  I don't fault doctors' offices for having a lunch period.  Rather I fault them for putting the onus on me to get back in touch with them.  Such a statement says, "I've got enough business that if you forget to call me back, I really do not care."

"We're just getting set up with email..."

I hear this a lot from "everyday" mom-and-pop businesses such as restaurants, hair salons, dry cleaners, handymen, and contractors.   Not only does it tell me they are not current with technology (and email is so pervasive that it is a stretch to even consider it "technology" these days), but it also indicates they do not care.  About what?  About practically anything and everything.  Not having email is like not having a phone.  If they do not care about basic communication, they may not care about the cleanliness of the kitchen, the delicate nature of my shirt, or the type of bolt that secures the gutter to the roof.

"Our credit card machine is broken."

An old standby of any business that does not want to pay an interchange fee.  Recently I was in Boston where the cabs have just been outfitted with credit card machines.  When I mentioned I would be paying by card, the driver told me the machine was "broken" as vandals had broken into his cab and damaged it.  I asked him to just try and see if the machine worked...it did...

Using a credit card in a cab is like manna from heaven.  It helps conserve cash and consequently makes me have to carry less of it on long trips.  Moreover, it helps me keep track of my expenses.  A driver will usually get a better tip from me as it is so easy to simply tap "15%" or "20%" on the payment touch screen to tack on the extra amount to the charge.  Yet, so many drivers still want to do business the old-fashioned way whether because they want to skim the take or because they are cheap.  I will not support it.  Before I get into any cab now, I always confirm credit card availability.

"We only take Visa and MasterCard."

In terms of charge volume per customer, American Express enjoys a substantial lead over competing banks.  Everyone knows the company charges a higher discount rate.   Think about why it does though?  Its customers spend more!  Much more!  For a business not to take American Express is akin to shooting itself in the foot.  As a big Amex user, I know which places do not accept it.  And I can say with certainty that I think twice about shopping at them.

I know that I operate a professional services business and it is easy for me to take pot shots at more retail-oriented establishments with rigid hours and payment methods.  However, as any of Square One's clients know, we are available 24/7/365.  If something is urgent enough for you to call us on Thanksgiving Day, well then it must be pretty important and we'll gladly speak with you.  The same goes for a call at 3am.

Too many businesses are still operating as if we are in the 1950s.  Well 2010 is fast approaching...And I'll be ready to take your call when the ball drops.